Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Contentedly discontent

I'm getting into a pretty good groove at school. I love my students more and more each day. The environment has a genuine family feel to it. I'm definitely being stretched, but I'm not stressed. I'm content with where I'm at. There are an abundance of opportunities to be a witness for Christ at my school by how I interact with and "father" my students.

But I do have a longing in my soul, a feeling of discontent. Even as I find myself enjoying teaching, I can't help but think about my friends in West Africa. Most of the time I go about my merry way, but when I have time to think about or pray for them, the desire to minister there returns.

I have gone through periods of feeling guilty for not just being happy where I'm at. "Why can't I just be grateful for what I've got and quit thinking about moving on to something else?" I would say to myself. I would feel guilty for praying that God would allow me to go back to West Africa.

But then a few days ago, I read something that the apostle Paul wrote that encouraged me. He wrote to the Roman believers that in his prayers he always asks "that somehow by God's will I may now at last succeed in coming to you. For I long to see you..." (Romans 1:10-11). Paul had an intense desire to spend time with the believers in Rome that he might minister among them, and that he and they might be mutually encouraged by each others' faith. Though he had never met them, he had a love for them.

Paul's words resonated with me. If he could pray constantly that God would allow him to go to Rome—and he eventually made it—then I can pray every day that God would allow me to return to West Africa. There are pastors there whom I have never met, but have grown to love through our email correspondence. I would also love to reconnect with pastors I met and ministered with while there.

In the meantime, I and my family will continue to plug in to fellowship here and prayerfully seek ministry opportunities where we're at.


taniad1992 September 25, 2010 at 6:16 AM  

I understand what you are saying. My pull, in fact our family's pull, is back to Asia. We left a piece of our heart there after leaving Seoul, South Korea two years ago. We are not content to live out our lives in the USA, but are waiting on God to open the doors He wants to open for us. God is so good and I'm so thankful that He is the One leading, not me!

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