Friday, December 28, 2007

Ups and downs

A few nights ago I was bored, so I started googling some of my old friends from high school and stuff. I realized that I finally made it to that age when just about everyone is doing what they're going to do "when they grow up." You know how when you were younger and everybody who was anybody was always older that you. Well, I'm now at that age when people my own age are doing significant things with their lives.

To be honest with you, I was sort of depressed.

I'm 40 years old, my family and I are living with my in-laws, I don't currently have a regular job (admittedly, something is in the works), and I have no idea what the future holds. I've been going through these up and down periods regularly lately. I know that God is there, and I know He has a plan for me, but my faith waivers when it comes to waiting on Him.

I can only imagine how Abraham felt. He was 75 years old when God told him to leave everything that was familiar to him, and go to a place he had never been before (Genesis 12:1-4). At that time, God told Abraham that he would have many descendants, but the promised child didn't come for another 25 years! How did he handle all the questioning from inquiring minds? "Hey, Abe, it's been 5 years (10 years, 15 years, 20 years) since you left. Are you sure you heard God right about having a kid?" "Maybe you messed up somehow along the way, and God changed His mind." "Why don't you just go back to where you came from? At least it's familiar." Though he faltered some along the way, "Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness" (Romans 4:3).

One encouraging moment came last Sunday when my family and I went to my in-laws' church. The pastor was giving an example of living for Christ, and he related a fictional story of how a teacher can change a child's life. He ended the story with the statement, "You're not just a teacher, you're an agent of God." I wept as I heard those words. It seemed that God was speaking to me through this.

So I don't have a choice but to trust the Lord. Not always easy, but ultimately worth it.

3 comments:

Jim and Steff,  December 28, 2007 at 8:04 PM  

Brian, keep hanging in there. That comment in church was certainly meant for you. It seems to us that you act as an agent of God, no matter what you are doing--it's a large part of who you are.

Michael Buckingham January 2, 2008 at 8:43 AM  

Is this the same Brian that we did the logo for? I wondered where you went...if there is anything I can do to help in your situation just let me know.

Brian January 2, 2008 at 8:51 AM  

Hey Michael,

Yep, it's me. When I saw your name, I was trying to remember where I had heard it. Sorry to not get back to you. At this point, your prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

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